She Doesn't Know
by AliceRoseSwan
Summary: Emma doesn't know what's going to happen. Musings from the deck of the Jolly Roger. AN: I haven't written a story in 6 years. This just happened at midnight for inexplicable reasons.


Peter Pan. Peter _fucking_ Pan. In fucking _Neverland_. This is her life now. Because fate apparently decided that being the True Love child of Prince Charming and Snow White wasn't insane enough. Nor was living in a town full of fairy-tale characters. Sometimes she still wakes up questioning her sanity. But really-_Peter Pan_?

Obviously it had occurred to her after meeting Hook that his childish counterpart must exist, but being here, in Neverland, makes it all so much more real. It's always been pretty clear that Hook is not a clear reflection of his literary counterpart. There are, after all, a lot of words she could use to describe the Captain of the Jolly Roger. Codfish is not one of them. Though she has learned by now that the stories are rarely ever accurate so she can only imagine what's in store for them now.

Neverland certainly seems beautiful as she gazes on it from the deck of the Jolly Roger. The waters of the sea are a deeper blue than she has ever imagined. Everything, in fact, just seems _more_. The sky holds more colors than her world, and the land she can distantly see from the deck is a vibrant green. It is stunning, but if there is one thing she knows, it's that appearances can be deceiving. Take Hook for instance. She's certain at this point that he has been assigned the wrong role. He's not the bad guy. He's made shitty decisions, which she can relate to more than anyone knows, but he came back. No one has ever come back for her like that.

As much as it hurts to think about Neal, she's not blind to his faults. A decade passed and he never came for her, never even tried to apologize for landing her in jail. A decade of confusion and anger and grief and-really, is it any wonder she has trust issues? But Hook is scaling the walls she's so carefully built up and honestly, who better to do that than a pirate? There is no love yet, because she is not her parents. She is not a princess in a fairy-tale, and love at first sight does not exist. The two of them have more issues that the friggin' United Nations, but they understand each other. He gets her in a way no one else has been able to. And that kind of sounds like a good start. She's not sure to what yet, but she thinks there could be something.

She hasn't even had a chance to talk to him yet. They had arrived in Neverland not long ago, and he and Gold were (shockingly) working together to come up with a strategy to find Henry.

God-_Henry,_ she can't even think his name without feeling the pressing pain in her chest. Her heart is closing in on itself with worry. "Magic always comes with a price." She had heard it said enough on the rollercoaster that has been her life since Henry knocked on her door. But he was never supposed to be that price.

She doesn't know what she will do if he-"Emma?" It's Dav-her Dad. Oh Jesus. Her Dad. She had called him Dad. Emma was not well versed in the practices of families, but she imagines backtracking and calling her father David might not be the appropriate way to strengthen their bonds.

She looks over from her perch gazing into the magical seas of Neverland to see her father cautiously approaching. He was always cautious with her. Where her mother tended to rush in and worm her way into your heart, her father goes at her speed. She imagines growing up with him would have resulted in her being used to getting her way. This causes a bittersweet smile to grace her lips. No use dwelling over what could have been.

"D-Dad?" It sounds much more awkward coming out of her mouth when their lives are no longer in immediate peril. The grimace on her face as she stutters through it must give him a clue about her misgivings, because he gives a small grin and comes closer. As he settles next to her, she glances at him out of the corner of her eye. Throughout everything, she hasn't ever really looked at him. Not properly.

Everyone says that she has Snow's chin. She sees her mother when she glances in a mirror, but she's starting to see her father too. She has his temper, she confirmed that after he punched Hook. She has his hair, and she thinks she maybe has his nose as well. He is studying her as well. She's not sure what he is looking for, but he is a welcome distraction from the direction her musings were going.

"How are you holding up? Your Mo-Snow is feeling a bit queasy from the portal travel." He stumbles over what to call her mother. Like she said-her pace. She gives him a small smile. "I'm fine."

He raises an eyebrow and she has the sudden horrifying thought that he has been spending too much time with Hook. "Fine huh? Do you maybe want to try again? With the truth this time, preferably." She shakes her head. Nearly 30-years-old and she is being scolded by her father for telling a lie.

"I'm just worried. We don't have a clear plan. Henry could be anywhere. Greg and Tamara are insane and I know that we have all these powerful people but I don't know what to expect and he could be hurt or hungry or-I just- I-" Her father cuts off her increasingly distressed rambling by wrapping his arms around her.

She's not used to this Dad thing yet, but she acknowledges that Dad hugs seem to be far more comforting that any other type. "We **will** find him, Emma." She looks up at him. He's so certain. It's reassuring. A small half-smile appears on his face, "It's kind of a thing in this family." She snorts out a laugh because, yea, she guesses he's kind of right.

She doesn't know how long it will take, or where it will lead, but they will find her son. She doesn't know what will happen after that. Will they return to Storybrooke? Venture back into the Enchanted Forest? Will Regina and Gold maintain this tentative peace? She takes a look around at the group of people and her eyes land on Hook. She doesn't know what will happen. But, as she considers the possibilities, and his eyes meet hers while a smile grows on his face, she thinks that maybe that's okay.


End file.
